Hello Sweet Cheer: Perfect Love


Perfect Love

Tonight I'm pouring my heart out.

     Lately I've been learning a lot. I've learned about my husband, about myself as a wife, and about Jesus. I am always in progress, but tonight I'm ready to share my thoughts and experiences in hopes of bringing glory to my King.

     Ryan and I have been married almost five months, together sixteen months and we've known each other for twenty months! Not even two years ago we didn't know each other existed! That's so crazy to think about. In our five months of marriage we have learned a ton! We have learned more about conflict/resolution, compromise, supporting one another, etc. More than any of that though, I have learned more and more and more as each day passes about who my husband is. I'm sure I learn new things about him every other day!

     Because we're married, it's so easy for me to feel like he should know exactly what I want or need from him. I even expect him to just KNOW things that I'm thinking. I get upset when he doesn't immediately realize that I need him to be there for me emotionally. I get frustrated with him when he doesn't read my mind. And to be honest, at times I know I'm treating my husband like a robot who is here solely for the purpose of making me happy, satisfying my every need and desire, and leading me just perfectly. And I want that perfect love from him. Ryan has all of these expectations for me as his wife in the same way I have them for him as my husband. We both struggle to live out the fact that we are not perfect people and we do not have a perfect marriage. I struggle greatly with identity - I always have. I am constantly having to remind myself that while being a wife is a privilege and a good thing, that role does not define me. And when I fail as a wife it is not the end of the world because I am sinner and my identity is found in my Savior! What a beautiful truth that is.

     My point in saying all of this is that I have greatly missed what Jesus desires for me. I have looked to my husband to fulfill the most extravagant, authentic, PERFECT love that my heart longs for. And that Jesus wants to fulfill. And that only Jesus can fulfill. So tonight I challenge you to evaluate your heart a little bit. Where are you placing your hope? Do you have lofty expectations that no flawed human can meet?

Are you looking to the One who created you to love you perfectly?

     One tool that I use to evaluate my heart is to think of everything that has given me joy that day. If my joy is coming from only other things and people and not my Creator, I know that I am putting my hope in all those things as well. I was inspired to write about this topic and the way I twisted the source from which I expect that perfect love, from the language in 1 John 4:18.

Happy Saturday!

xoxo | meredith holguin

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