Photo Dump

Sometimes you just need to post all the pictures from life's latest happenings!

I tried to get my husband to snap a pic while Porter was cuddling 

my belly, but of course he wasn't quick enough for that little pup! ;)

I made biscuits and gravy a few weeks ago..so yum!

And after our breakfast we utilized the other side of our living room for some morning reading! It was really nice. We've actually used it a lot more lately and we're loving it.

21 weeks!

Ryan on his first day of work! He wasn't ready yet, but I had

 to leave and like a good wife I needed to get a first day pic!

And then we shopped for more work clothes!

And had a weeknight Rosa's date...

I turned 22 weeks pregnant!

And tried out these protein bars per the recommendation of 

one of my preggie friends! I liked them!

I caught Porter sun bathing...

And my sister sent me a baby gift! She lives out of state so she won't make it to my showers.

And I met up with a blog friend! Love her dearly.

I got nephew cuddles...

And he fell asleep in an instant on mom...

And then I co-hosted a bridal shower for one of my besties!

We had a blast!

But then this preggers needed a meal! And we got something we don't have at home... so yummy!

He's such a good husband ;)

And Porter was still cute...

And the weather warmed up a lot!

And this is what my 23 week picture ended up being....

Porter loves my new body pillow...

And sun bathing is one of his favorite pastimes I guess?

And he got his daddy a valentine!

And we spent Valentine's Day in the front yard, Ryan pulling 

weeds while I sat on the porch in the sun with my sweet tea!

More sunbathing...

And THIS was my 24 week picture. Ryan had to work late 

so I was left to my own devices!

And there was a tough week thrown in there. And Jesus was good through it all.

xoxo || meredith holguin

24 week bumpdate

(when hubby gets stuck at work, I improvise!)

How far along: 24 weeks

Size of babe: Cantaloupe!

Gender: IT'S A BOY!! We can't wait to meet our son, Titus Matthew!

Husband: Ryan recently got a new job! He started in mid-January and he is loving it so far! We are so happy for him to be making enough money for me to stay home for good!

Maternity Clothes: Still absolutely LOVING my maternity leggings from Motherhood Maternity. I think I wear them 5 times a week. Also living in dresses because they are easy and don't make me feel like a stuffed sausage!

Loving: All the movement. Baby boy kicks me all the time and we have started to see bigger movements from the outside! So much fun.

Loathing: The length of time I have to wait until I get to hold my sweet boy! 16 more long weeks!

Belly Button: In...but flattening out more and more every day!

Movement: Tons!

Symptoms: Still emotional, wired at night and tired in the morning (the worst combo), and still struggling to eat meat. I just hate the taste of it right now.

Best Part of the Week: 4 day weekend! I got so much done around the house and was able to get a glimpse into what staying at home will look like!

Worst Part of the Week: LOTS of emotions this week. Which is totally fine, just makes things hard sometimes.

Missing Most: Sleeping on my tummy :(

Can't wait for: My best friend's wedding! Happening on March 12th, so excited for all the festivities!

How I'm Feeling

This post may not be very fun. And I'm sorry for that but sometimes I just need to be honest with myself and honest with anyone who cares to read these things.

     Being pregnant, a question that I get asked a lot is, "How are you feeling?" And I love when I get asked that because usually it means that person really cares to know how things are. I feel known and like I matter when I'm asked that. The hard part for me is the answer.

What I want to say is, "I'm feeling great! Everything is wonderful and I can't wait to meet my baby."

What goes through my mind is, "I feel okay. I hate my job. I wish June would come quicker. I've been living for the weekend since August. Getting up everyday is a battle. So yeah, I'm feeling just okay."

     I'm at home sick today, thinking about what it would be like if this was an every day reality for me. Sans the coughing and sneezing and such. And the truth is it will be my reality soon. But not soon enough. I've been thinking all day long about how in the world I will make it to the end of this school year! I truly cannot see what the next few months will be like. I cannot imagine myself at work while THIRTY-NINE weeks pregnant. And maybe I won't be. Maybe my baby will come early and I'll only be at work until THIRTY-SEVEN weeks pregnant. But what's the difference, really? My point is that I truly wish I had an option to leave my job sooner than three days before my due date. Unfortunately, the chances of that happening are about slim to zero percent. I'm locked in. Trapped. Stuck where I'm at until June 4th.

     Now, before you think I'm just a big bag of complaints, everything I've ever posted about this pregnancy and how excited I am is 100% true. I am 100% ELATED to have this little boy in my belly, moving around as I type, surprising me with movement while I sit at my desk, waking me up in the middle of the night with kicks and punches and whatever else he's doing in there! I'm even HAPPY to have back pain and tiredness and sore feet. I really am. I would never want to seem like this isn't exactly what I've always wanted. And I sure wouldn't want to seem like I'm not so grateful and feel so blessed that I get to carry my child. I am.

     What I'm trying to say is this...I am not okay. I am not content in my situation. I am tired and I just want to have my baby in my arms in my home and not have to worry about lesson plans and meetings and absences and evaluations.

But that is not my reality.

I am a teacher. And I am pregnant. And I HAVE to be both right now.

     And I cannot be both without Jesus. I need Him for strength and contentment and joy and energy and everything it takes to work full-time and carry my child. And that's really all I wanted to say. I just needed to express that my life is not all roses. I am unhappy at times and I struggle to be content in Jesus.

So I am clinging to these verses...

Psalm 90
13 Relent, Lord! How long will it be?
    Have compassion on your servants.
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
    that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
    for as many years as we have seen trouble.

How's that craziness for a Thursday night?

xoxo || meredith holguin

22 week bumpdate

How far along: 22 weeks

Size of babe: Spaghetti squash...supposedly weighing around 1 pound!

Gender: IT'S A BOY!! We can't wait to meet our son, Titus Matthew!

Husband: My husband is just the sweetest man. He loves me and serves me so well! Before getting pregnant he always loved to pamper me, but now more than ever he is full of surprises and treats! His thoughtfulness makes me feel adored and I can't wait for our kids to have him for their daddy!

Maternity Clothes: I finally broke down and bought things for work! Ryan got me a few gift cards to some of my favorite stores so that I could get the things I really needed. I'm still not finding any maternity pants that I love other than jeans (which I can only wear on Fridays) so I'm sticking mostly with dresses. If you have any suggestions for pants let me know! I really love things with a full belly band, I hate the way pants feel all tight around the lower part of my belly.

Here's my haul!

I ended up with a sweater I've been dying for from Old Navy, six dresses and four shirts! Oh and I bought myself some black booties, too ;)

Loving: The fact that people I don't know have asked me when I'm due! I was so tired of looking and feeling fat, I am definitely visibly pregnant in almost any type of clothing now!

Loathing: Still hating most types of meat :/ It's a struggle because I'm trying to make sure I'm getting plenty of protein and I really don't love eggs so I'm trying to figure that out!

Belly Button: In...but flattening out more and more every day!

Movement: Tons! It's so fun!

Symptoms: Still emotional, wired at night and tired in the morning (the worst combo), and I'm starting to feel like I'm actually eating more than I did before pregnancy. That's a pretty new symptom for me.

Best Part of the Week: I've gotten to relax a lot lately when I'm not working and that has been really helpful!

Worst Part of the Week: So far so good here in second-trimester-land!

Missing Most: Sleeping on my tummy :(

Can't wait for: Titus to be here!!! I know I still have a solid 18 weeks to go but I am so ready to meet this little boy!

And here's a little behind the scenes action...Porter really wanted to be in our picture ;)

xoxo || meredith holguin